As soon as the blog pigeon alighted on my desk it quickly became clear that I was in trouble. The feathered visitation heralded the beginning of my RKH blog entry. My mind was blank and I had no idea what to write about. The pigeon demands blog post satisfaction and I am bereft of any such material.
The days have now turned into weeks and the numbing blankness continues. With each passing day, from the corner of my desk, the pigeon’s beady gaze burns ever deeper into the side of my head, serving as a constant, nagging reminder. My mind starts to wonder from the job at hand, and I soon find myself browsing the web in search of anything to take my mind off my current dilemma.
Then it struck me, maybe I could write a little something about the utterly useless stuff one can find online. I’ve never been a big fan of social media, so I don’t spend hours a day doing that, and there’s only so much high-brow cultural stuff one can partake in or hobbies to indulge. So, more often than not, I find myself veering off the beaten track in search of the strange, weird and downright pointless, all in an attempt to perhaps have a laugh or two.
Take for instance eelslap.com - an oldie but a goodie. There is still something so addictively satisfying about scrubbing this video backwards and forwards finding that glorious point of contact between face and eel. Apart from that, it’s totally pointless.
There are, however, far more pointless places to visit if you wish, like crouton.net or republiquedesmangues.fr - two food based wastes of time, although the mango is rather well presented I must say.
The internet is a truly wonderful place which has, for better or worse, permeated every aspect of our lives. It caters for all our needs, our social lives, entertainment, financial matters, shopping, knowledge, and the list goes on. So it’s no surprise that the useless web also reflects this. You can use it to do the strangest shopping at weirdorconfusing.com, read uninspired blogs over on dullestblog.com, or even vent your political spleen in a way which is far from productive at trumpdonald.org.
And that’s before you even get onto all the cat and dog content, the internet is awash with cats and dogs, so here’s a selection of time wasters for all you animal enthusiasts: cat-bounce.com omfgdogs.com procatinator.com doughnutkitten.com corgiorgy.com
Other useless websites really get the bit between their teeth and go for it. I mean, if like me, you’ve always wanted a comprehensive database of airport carpets then you’ve just got to visit carpetsforairports.com. Hats off to everyone involved, an idea grandiose in scope and ambitiously realised, I’m sure you’ll agree.
These sites can also be surprisingly engaging, inviting you to mess about and interact with them, wasting minutes and hours of your precious time. chrismckenzie.com, staggeringbeauty.com, zenphoton.com and koalastothemax.com are some of the best examples. Others employ more hypnotic tactics to keep you hanging around like somethingopen.com, zoomquilt.org and crossdivisions.com.
The examples I have subjected you to are just a tiny slice of the nonsense available once you start looking. You may have seen a lot of these sites before, but that’s testament to their ability to permeate people’s everyday lives, whether actively looking or not. Some have also gained significant social media coverage, a fact that hasn’t gone unnoticed by advertisers and creatives alike. They can be stupidly addictive, and they have the ability to make you laugh or hook you in with an engaging way to interact.
Stupid, useless and weird they are, and a great way to waste time, but next time you’re stuck for ideas and need inspiration, looking for something useless on the internet might just be the unusual and unexpected kickstart you need. So maybe they aren’t quite as useless as they first appear, and perhaps we could all learn something from this type of content.
Conversely, if the useless web doesn’t manage to inspire you (which is a very real possibility) maybe it can just give you that little bit of emotional support you need to get you through that tough time - make-everything-ok.com.